I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
