Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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