I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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