Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
