well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
