dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
