scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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