just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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