Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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