Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
