I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
