There was a lot of him and a little penis
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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