I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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