How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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