May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Couch. On fire.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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