My friends, they love my intelligence
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
