I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
