you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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