We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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