I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
