weddingsv make me drug and hornr
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
