I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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