marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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