chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
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