i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
no you cant smoke seaweed
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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