no. you can't hotbox the world.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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