dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
