just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
