I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
