jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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