The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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