it hurts more in the daytime
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
