Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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