Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
My dad is sitting where you rode me
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
