can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
