Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
