the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
