summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
