That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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