i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You need a sexual gate keeper
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
