You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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