maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
