I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
