Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
