Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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