You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
