Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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