I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
