Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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