So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
