needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
The beer is more important than you right now.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
